1/4th of a year

It happened to me before. It always happens to me in Switzerland whenever I start speaking English, it happened to me when my hostdad picked me up and actually thought I was the wrong guy and it happened to me today in school again.

We were reading a newspaper article about some migrants getting sued, when I, curious as I am, asked a vocabulary question concluding that it was the same word as lawsuit. It was when my teacher gave me a really puzzled look telling me that she wanted to ask me this before but didn’t have the chance. She added if I actually have been or lived in America. “Yes mam! I suuure haaave” I responded with my best Forest Gump accent. She was teaching me for the second week apparently without knowing about my exchange year in the United States of America.

I love to see the puzzled look on people’s faces when they can’t really figure out where I am from. I use a lot of American day to day language, I have an “American accent” but still English native speaker can hear that there is something fishy. Their suspicion are usually released when I tell them that I am a Swiss who did an exchange year in Chicago. That was also the reason why my UK hostdad wasn’t really sure if he picked up the right guy. I quote him “As soon as you opened your mouth, I thought hold on a minute, is he really from Switzerland or is he just a crazy American who wants to learn proper English?” My hostmom tells me that she always needs to tell herself: “He is not an American he just talks like them. So I can’t suppose he understands everything I say.”

I want to thank my American friends and family for teaching me so well (I actually think the way I eat is part of it. The paster pastor of my church even has the opinion that I am more American than Swiss by my behavior) In the US I was known as the Swiss or the guy from Switzerland. In the UK, I am known as the Swiss American or the guy from Switzerland with the American twang.

As always: Do me a favour and correct my mistakes

If  long and complicated recipes are not your thing, donʼt look any further you have found the ideal place the escape the nightmare of complex food instructions. Just recently we had to write our own recipes in college. As most of you probably know, I am more interested in the result rather than how it gets to that result. In other words, I let the cooking part figure out someone else and focus on the eating. Thatʼs just the way I was born, I guess.

Because I made a tremendous effort in writing a recipe for the traditional Swiss Sunday bread “zopf” I thought I might share it with you. However, thinking about it, I had second thoughts, because you could just look it up online somewhere else. So, I decided to show you the best and by far the most unique and hilarious recipe from your class. Thanks to Marko for allowing me to post it here. Like me, he prefers eating over cooking ;  )

How to cook a Bockwurst with bread rolls

If the other recipes are too difficult try this one!

You need (for one person):

• 1-2 sausages, called “Brockwurst”
• 1-2 bread rolls
• German mustard

Instructions:

1. Go to Aldi or Lidle (German grocery stores) and buy a pack of Bockwurst sausages,
   bread rolls and German mustard
2. Slice the bread rolls in half
3. Open the mustard jar
4. Heat the sausages in water, but donʼt boil them lest they burst.
   For heating you can use…
   a) …an oven and a pot
   b) …a kettle (be careful that other people donʼt see it, because they wonʼt like the
   taste of sausages in their tea!)
   c) …two nails and a power cable. Stick the nails in every end of the sausage and
   attach one wire on each nail of the cable. Then plug the lead into a socket. In a
   short time the sausage is hot. Be careful! Donʼt touch the sausage during the
   heating. Donʼt be surprised if the fuse blows.
5. Put the hot sausage on the bread roll and put mustard on it.
6. Enjoy it!

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