1/4th of a year

It happened to me before. It always happens to me in Switzerland whenever I start speaking English, it happened to me when my hostdad picked me up and actually thought I was the wrong guy and it happened to me today in school again.

We were reading a newspaper article about some migrants getting sued, when I, curious as I am, asked a vocabulary question concluding that it was the same word as lawsuit. It was when my teacher gave me a really puzzled look telling me that she wanted to ask me this before but didn’t have the chance. She added if I actually have been or lived in America. “Yes mam! I suuure haaave” I responded with my best Forest Gump accent. She was teaching me for the second week apparently without knowing about my exchange year in the United States of America.

I love to see the puzzled look on people’s faces when they can’t really figure out where I am from. I use a lot of American day to day language, I have an “American accent” but still English native speaker can hear that there is something fishy. Their suspicion are usually released when I tell them that I am a Swiss who did an exchange year in Chicago. That was also the reason why my UK hostdad wasn’t really sure if he picked up the right guy. I quote him “As soon as you opened your mouth, I thought hold on a minute, is he really from Switzerland or is he just a crazy American who wants to learn proper English?” My hostmom tells me that she always needs to tell herself: “He is not an American he just talks like them. So I can’t suppose he understands everything I say.”

I want to thank my American friends and family for teaching me so well (I actually think the way I eat is part of it. The paster pastor of my church even has the opinion that I am more American than Swiss by my behavior) In the US I was known as the Swiss or the guy from Switzerland. In the UK, I am known as the Swiss American or the guy from Switzerland with the American twang.

As always: Do me a favour and correct my mistakes

Now that I am back in Switzerland the differences between the United States and Switzerland are very obvious to me. That’s why I thought I am going to list some of them for you guys who asked me some question about Switzerland.

Conversation:

1. When you meet someone Swiss people shake first and or if it is a girl kiss her three times on her cheek.
2. When someone ask you “how are you” you really tell him how you feel.
3. When meeting a new person a Swiss doesn’t ask private questions and is very passive in a conversation till he figures out that he can trust the other.
4. Questions like “what’s happening?” or “what’s up” don’t exist in Switzerland. (That’s why I tried to really answer those at the beginning of my year in the US)
5. In Swiss German their is a polite form which is used for adults and teachers. (This form exists in many languages and represents Mister or Misses)
6. Teachers don’t often talk about something else then the school stuff with their students.

Transportation:

7. Cars are way smaller in Switzerland
8. On every street corner you can sightsee the car “Smart”, and no this doesn’t mean Swiss people are very smart.
9. A straight street is so rare like a farm in downtown Chicago. Every street has some kind of curve or turn.
10. When you speed you don’t get pulled over. Photo camera’s take a picture and send you a fee home.
11. The speed limit on highways (Autobahn) is 75 miles per hour in the whole country.
12. Getting the driver license costs around $ 4000.-. This includes everything what you need to learn how to drive a car.
13. While learning how to drive you have to put a little blue square sign with a white L on it on the back, so everybody can see that you’re learning how to drive and laugh at you. (Yes the “L” stands for “learning”)
14. No driving under 18.
15. Teenager get around with public transportation like train, trams, and buses.
16. The public transportation network is huge and goes to every little town.
17. Buses and trains are never late. If the train is only one minute to late every body gets nervous and angry because they have to wait.
18. Trains are comfortable in Switzerland.
19. There are so many tunnels in Switzerland like wholes in a Swiss cheese.
20. My mom never gives me a ride to school.
21. Stick shift cars are the norm
22. When you drive over the speed limit the police won’t hunt you down. They will take a picture of your your license plate and send you a penalty home. The mean thing about it, they camera’s are set up almost everywhere and they don’t need a human to figure out when to take a picture.
23. Crossroads are often regulated my street circles.
24. The trains look like from the future. Seriously
25. A family has on average one car.

These are just some difference between US and Switzerland. More will coming up soon! So look forward to part two of the differences between the United States and Switzerland.

If you don’t understand something, please ask! And let me know which one is the weirdest one for you. For me it is probably nr. 4.

Okay, I promised an here it is. A list with 10 really stupid questions about the United States and my 100% ironic and sarcastic answer (Usually I told them how it really is afterwards ).

1. Are all Americans fat?

2. Do Americans usually eat McDonalds?

3. Is an American Family like the Simpsons?

4. How many times did you actually go to McDonald’s?

5. Is George W. Bush still President of the US?

6. Do the Americans always pray before they start school?

7. Is it true that an average American watches about 10 hours TV a day?

8. Do all African American play Basketball.

9. Do all people in the States like Obama.

10. Do all American speak English?

Again tell me your favorite and more if someone else asked you a stupid question about the States.